Monday, June 7, 2010

seriously...how?


how?
to balance ur life?
its been fine with me for this past year

but 
as rafiq grows...my responsibilities piles up..i want to teach him read, potty train, pump susu, masak different meals for him and his papa twice a day, make sure the house is spotless as he...of course picks up everything and puts it in his mouth ( our quality control officer ), make sure we play any educational games at least once a day, check my emails, talk to my clients, pg kickboxing and yoga, and malam....family night...hangout main dgn rafiq sama2 and catch up dgn sayang...
kdg2....sampai nak lipat kain pun 3 hari skali baru buat...

seriously....
i mean...im not even working full time 

i dont know how other people manage?

im happy that i managed
puas hati...dapat layan rafiq main, dapat baca buku sama2...dapat layan suami.....and amik tau everything that happened to him that day

i am blessed
actually i enjoy doing all this
rasa happy sebab ada org appreciate
i mean...masak kdg2 xcukup bahan ke...tetap ada org ckp sedap...and tetap ada org makan sampai habis...
best kan mcm tu?

tapi kan..
the part yg xbest is....
i want to continue doing biz but my heart tu....mcm bias towards my family
everytime ada biz oppurtunity masuk...mmglah happy...happy sgt...
tapi...
i mcm....mmmmm  nantilah...hari ni nak baca story tu dgn rafiq..
nantilah...dah janji dgn sayang mlm ni nak buat kerabu seafood and tengok monday night laughs together..

u know ... stuff like that
i want to cuddle all day...dats all

this is wats troubling me
how eh?

ive discussed this issue with a few friends

some tell me...yup, they feel the same way...
most of them yg sama2 dgn i kat miri ni...knowing they all pun sama mcm i kan..buat biz from home..24 hours dgn hubby and baby.. 

some say...i emotional sgt...i need to be stronger...that opportunities mcm ni dtg masa muda je...cari duit cepat2 and then spend lah masa dgn anak pulak bila dah kaya..

kaya?

is that wat i really want ?

so far...the amount of money i get after 4 months joining the biz is more than enough...
of course my leaders push me even more...they know i can go way further but do i want to? or do i need to?
mmg senang...duduk rumah...borak2 kejap dgn client...follow up and then dapat income...i dont even need to leave the house...


my cheque last month


i think ive reached my limits kot...
so far...
knowing the clingy type i am...
asyik2 nak peluk rafiq...asyik2 nak hangout dgn sayang...
susah wooooo org mcm ni..
ngeeeeeeeeeeeeee

sayang said...
"u dont need designer bags, clothes etc every month right?
plus...the decision on joining biz was entirely based on the opportunity to double up the capital i have in my account...
dah lama duduk mcm tu...baik invest in something promising...
plus...wats wrong being a WAHM mom and raising ur kids to be great people?..no need to fall into the feminism view entirely..that woman need to be as equal as men...not a problem pun kalau duduk rumah didik anak dgn baik...jaga rumah dah suami dgn baik...boleh..nak biz...niatnya apa?
tak perlu terlalu push diri sendiri sampai rasa tertekan...
ikut ur own pace...
 kita xpernah pun hidup susah...taklah kaya raya..tapi selesa lah
we do get whatever we want...alhamdulillah kan?"

ok fine...point taken...
bila suami dah ckp mcm tu...lagilah berat hati kan...
he is very supportive...
masa i join event kt brunei...he took 1 week leave sbb nak jaga rafiq
he drove all of us around....
jumpa clients pg sana sini...masa tu seronokla....first time in years i feel like im a career woman
but in the end...at nights, i still go running back to both of them before having dinner....org lain habis event pg makan ramai2...i lari2 balik blk sbb nak lepak dgn sayang and baby...

so what type of person am i?

am i fit for all of this?

i think watever i have is enough...enoughla kot...
dah habis settlekan the myvi...hhehehe langsai...xpayah fikir da hutang2...
and then semua yg lebih tu top up tabung haji rafiq and saham dalam shell...itu jelah kira mine..setahun skali boleh amik...
if i need to splurge...guna je watever is left for me...ngeeeeeee
tulah kalau dah jadi isteri and mama...
fikir suami and anak dulu baru diri sendiri
bukan cerita2 gempak ke apa

but i cant
if i spend on me ( benda2 mengarut like asyik2 bags or clothes ) before them i feel guilty
although its my own money
so if i put it away for our future mlm tido senang hati...

but anyway...

serious....

wat do u think?

should i push more on the biz part?
or should i just maintain my current lifestyle?
am i too clingy ?
or am i doing fine?

what is best for our future?

how do u guys do it?
i admire all of u............marvellous moms, kerja kuat, great wives...

will i be able to do all that?



( ps : by the way...sapa nak join biz boleh contact me 0127021371.. )






9 comments:

Farah said...

i agree with ur husband..follow ur own pace la..u larat u buat. ok peace!

nadja said...

yea btul.. kalau larat ada masa boleh buat.. lagi pun u stay in ur own house kan.. so dont bother.. kita yang penat kita yang tau.. by the way.. as a mother memang kena spend banyak masa sementara our child masih kecil.. like me.. saya sanggup quit my job just only to spend time with my son n husband.. jangan risau rezeki anak mesti ada..insya allah.. :)

Raisah @ echah said...

all the best 2 u sarah...susah kan... echah pun, kdg2 ada keje, tp selalu tangguh2 sbb nk spend masa dgn anak n hubby...pastu keliru sendiri..hehe. take care dear.

senioritasara said...

farah : yeah true...husbands mmg mcm tu...hehehehe

nadja : bagus betul quit sbb anak.salute lah u....tp sbnrnya...klo lama2 tinggal dok ingat diaaaaaa je kan?

echah : itu betul...mmg betullah mak kita ckp dulu ...nnti ada anak awak tau lah mcmana...ehehhee

The Queen Bee said...

you go gurll!!!!!!! salute gileee dgn uu!! pewitt!!

snowiffy said...

hi sarah congrats on ur latest kebabom income! m hanis follower n PB user as well...mmg best! m getting my 2nd set soon as modal business. nk jadi mcm u n d rest insyallah ;) *i add u ok*

The Queen Bee said...

congatzz babee!!! sape2 di sarawak/brunei please contact sara! Iklan jap :P

i3na said...

congrats sarah.... byk x kuar modal tuk buat nih.. hehe just nak tau

senioritasara said...

hanis :thank u madam cdm hehehe
Snowiffy :thanks a lot.u pn mesti boleh!
Iena : thanks! Modal depends on u.actually modal 30 rgt je.tp apa2 biz pn nak pulangan byk kena modal lebih sikit.terpulang pd masing2.heeee

nuffnang