can I?

rafiq baru sebulan
tapi terfikir jugak about his education
mmg plan mcm2
nak masukkan dia art class la, music class, sports, mandarin... semua benda lah
but kt miri ni apa je yg ada

well,
theres yoga for mommy n baby ( thats good )
ada art class but for 4 years and above ( xmasuk list - 4yrs dah pindah tpt lain kot )
music class pun sama ( 6yrs above )

the other day pg survey qdees
nak tgklah the programmes their offering and the earlist age boleh masuk
mind you, me bukan malas nak jaga rafiq at home
but i want him to be exposed to the social life as well as start being educated early
bukan me xboleh ajar dia kat rumah..
mesti org kata
apa guna amik Bac. Edu TESL klo xnak kerja, anak pn hantar nursery kan
boleh...
as a matter of fact, i want to
but we think that we want him to have friends and learn how to interact with people apart from his mama and papa...

cukuplah letak dia half day je..
im not looking for a nursery
just a place for him to explore the world..
of course, while mama's bz finishing house chores in the morning ngeeee

well, the programmes at qdess bagus
but they enroll toddlers yg 2 years above je for now.
alaaaaaaa....

theres another montessori here..
my dr sends her sons there
dia ckp banyak activity yg best2
pun sama...after 2 years baru boleh masuk

my fren hantar her 6 month old son to kizsports
best sangat tpt ni...
mmg ive been planning to open a place like this
hubby daarie sibuk suruh sambung masters in montessori teaching
yelah...nak bukak bisnes kena ada product knowledge dulu kan
xkan main hantam je

well...so far...
masa nak mandi pun xcukup
mcmana nak sambung study
cam impossible je right now...

me and a few fren mmg dah berangan2 dah
daripada duduk rumah tgk anak everyday we might as well do the same thing but generate income at the same time.
but will i manage to pull it off?
money?
insyallah boleh dapatkan...
but will i manage to handle one business that i wont be monitoring everday?
of course it will be in kl..
xkan nak buat kt miri
coz definitely i wont be here for long...

hari tu dok chat with rinie
dia pun mmg suka the idea
ada jugak angan2 nak team up together to set up one smart learning school
but agak susah since im not here
thanks rinie...
4 years from now when im back kita kongsi ya!

anyway....for now...kena buat research, research and research...
baca banyak blogs about home school...
amik a few ideas...
but i really love the concept of kizsports
cuma....in my learning school...
nak ada swimming pool..
i didnt get to learn how to swim when i was in kindergarten...
so mesti best klo tgk anak sendiri n other kids belajar swimming masa drg still comel2..heheheh

wish me luck...
oh ya...sapa rasa2 mcm ada cadangan best2 bgla tau k

his first noise..apart from crying of course

seronok tgk rafiq agah2 me
terbalik eh?
actually time ni dia dh bangun
hubby dearie nak tukar his pampers
so he saw me still sleeping..
dia agah2 le...
nak susu la tu..notice his toungue terjelir2 mintak susu
heheheeheheh...

so cute

at least to us he is..

geram....

nnti nak rakam dia nangis pulak
waaaaa ni mmg horror
klo dah marah nak susu smpai terkeluar lidah2 sume hahahaha
kuatnyeeee

tu pon
even that, we definitely think hes still adorable..

then




after hubby dearie left for work

rafiq gave me this huge smile...

lepas dah kenyang n burp of course


awwwwwwwwwwwww


u r a charmer sayang



im gonna miss all of these when u grow up sayang...

geram mama

GOMOL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

banana leaf n big apple

dah habis pantang kita makaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn
sedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppp
last week makan dim sum...oh sgt sedap..

today...
banana leaf rice and big apple...

heaven

pastu ditambah pula present best dari sang suami
sbb berjaya melahirkan rafiq...
eh eh eh..
dia lupa k hari tu dah bagi elaun bersalin
skali dah swipe credit card beli my present

boleh plak teringat

opppsssss....xleh amik balik hhahahaha
time kaseeehhh sayang

nnti kita tangkap video n gambar byk2 k....
muah muah muah

sbb dapat video cam baru...maka inilah gambarnye...

video xde tangkap pon lg hehehehe


with kak b at big apple

sedapppp kan

mama ni...cepatla...ngantuk da ni

xnak da pose mama...nak tidooo


dah habis pantang kita makaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn
sedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppp
last week makan dim sum...oh sgt sedap..

today...
banana leaf rice and big apple...

heaven

pastu ditambah pula present best dari sang suami
sbb berjaya melahirkan rafiq...
eh eh eh..
dia lupa k hari tu dah bagi elaun bersalin
skali dah swipe credit card beli my present
boleh plak teringat
opppsssss....xleh amik balik hhahahaha
time kaseeehhh sayang

nnti kita tangkap video n gambar byk2 k....
muah muah muah

sbb dapat video cam baru...maka inilah gambarnye...
video xde tangkap pon lg hehehehe


tima kaceeehhhh...

when he smiles

gelak2 dgr lagu a,b,c...

say cheeeseeee

bgn tido pon senyummmm

esp bila mama kiss...senyum lebaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr

bahagia sgt2
i cant describe how much i love him
geram mau gomol2
sometimes nangis2 sbb xsangka 9 bulan bawak dia kehulu hilir dlm perut akhirnya...
here he is....growing in front of my eyes...

yesterday, i told him the story of how me n hubby dearie met...
plus...we showed him our wedding album
dia tenung je semua gambar2 tu...
hihihi
n then we showed him his ultrasound pics..
mmg sama dlm perut n bila dah keluar..
dia xde merengek pun...
khayal kot dgr our voice.
he does that..
everytime baca bedtime stories, he'll smile n make those cute, adorable noises
oh sgt cute..
maybe hes used to it
masa pregnant every night me n hubby dearie gilir2 baca one story before going to bed..
bagus2...suka membaca, xsuka toys sgt ngeeee

i love u sayang

nnti kita nyanyi abc sama2 lg ye


sama kan?


love
mama n papa
xoxo

the next step ?

alhamdulillah tempoh 44 hari tu dah habis

dalam hati mmg la seronok sbb lps ni dah xpayah menjawab dgn ramai org soalan2 yg xbest tu
"kenapa keluar?"
"kenapa mnm byk air?"
"kenapa mkn sayur n buah?"
"kenapa tak pakai kain batik?"

seriously semua soalan tu a bit annoying
reasons...keluar sbb nak pg check up rafiq, plus me mmg duduk sini with hubby dearie only.we dont really have any friends or relatives. so everything kena buat sendiri. nak beli brg2 rumah, i have to go. hubby dearie is not really an expert in that. although i can rely on him but god knows he'll take hours just to buy rafiq's diapers..he'll go and survey every shop for the best bargains.
ehem...husband saya mmg gitu.sangat teliti and he says a cent pun rugi nak membazir.skrg bukan musim to waste money. so hasilnya...every time nak pegi shopping for house stuff, i have to go. itupun rafiq dah sebulan baru bawak dia keluar...

y drink? hello...dr kata i have to drink lots of plain water. ikutkan, org yg bf kena minum 8 glasses of plain water per day. klo tgh bf rafiq mmg rasa tekak kering sgt. i dont really know y i cant drink lots of water. cik mah hari tu kata nnti luka lambat kering plus perut buncit. i dont care klo perut buncit.alahai....apalah sangat compared to nak bagi nutrition yg baik for my son. luka lambat kering...hmm mmglah risau. but then insyallah dia akan kering jugak..

kenapa makan sayur n buah. well...masa cik mah was still around, mmg xde mkn sayur or buah. a lot of people say makan oranges mmg cepat baik luka. camaner nak makan. minum air pun dia jeling maut. sayur mmg xdapat beb. everyday, ikan selar or gelama bakar dgn nasi kosong. dah seminggu dia suruh makan halia yg dah digoreng tanpa minyak. before she left dia masak la sawi masak air. even that, dia xbagi makan kuah tu. sayur je boleh..
my BM mmg sikit sangat. after dah 2mgu tu...start makan sayur esp lobak putih n makan benda2 berkhasiat BM makin banyak. alhamdulillah. xtaulah sebab mmg awal2 biasa xde susu or its what i ate. tapi susu badan kan terhasil daripada apa yg kita makan.
ikut www.susuibu.com mmglah kita kena banyak makan sayur hijau, protein, water, vitamins , and kalsium.

kain batik? well....masa awal2 tu pakai la jugak. but my house mmg 24 jam beraircond. rafiq xtahan panas. mula2 balik hospital dgr la ckp cik mah, pakai la kain batik. sejuknyeee ya amat. pakai seluar better. stokin mmg la pakai. so wats the difference? alahai...xtaulah. lgpon me bukan reti sgt pakai. so apa salahnya pakai seluar kan? bila nak urut or tungku me tukarla pakai kain batik. not a problem.

its not that i despise our traditions. banyak yg elok and mmg effective untuk pastikan kita cepat sihat. alhamdulillah, air akar kayu, jamu2, urut n tungku did make me feel a lot better. pemakanan pun. yelah, i admit, xkan la lepas bersalin nak makan masak lemak cili api, rendang semua. so mmg lah gud jugak pantang bab2 makan ni. cuma some things to i think perlu diringankan. seperti kata dr aida n dr raja...org yg terlalu berpantang makan ni mmg lambat baik.

maybe im just some stupid ignorant stubborn mama. or maybe im in denial just because i hate being confined.

i dont know

but i know that i listen to what my body needs. and i know i want whats best for my baby. if i know i cant then i wont. like when i know im still not strong enough to handle rafiqs very energetic mode in the tub then i leave it to hubby dearie. or when i know, i can provide enough food for rafiq then i just bare the very horrible pain during the early attempts of BF.

walaupon cik mah kata...xpayahla nak menyusu kan dia klo susu sikit. bagi je botol. because research says even how little ur BM is..u can BF ur baby. but yes, they will want to BF more frequently. mmg sedih bila 24 jam kena kutuk dgn cik mah masa awal2 bersalin dulu. rasa mcm cacat n kekurangan. but im determined. dr said...baby ceaser mmg lg perlu BF. because they didnt get the good bacteria from their mom's VJJ during birth. dahla skrg cuaca kt miri sgt teruk...i want him to be healthy. i know im not strong enough to handle him if hes sick.
i cant bare to have him cry because hes sick. ibu mana nk tgk anak dia sakit. kdg2 klo dia nangis sbb sakit perut nk poo pn kesian..

well....lepas dah habis tempoh untuk org kutuk2 everything i do...
so now comes reality

being a mom
with no help from anyone
after my sis balik n hubby dearie started his 2 week duty..
me n rafiq both had to learn how to adjust being with each other during office hours.
masyaallah...
the first day...mmg sgt susah..
esp bila rafiq tiba2 xnak tido siang
i think hes waiting for his papa balik
bila lunch hour hubby dearie balik, baru lah nak tido..
masa ni me dah siap mandikn n feed him..
so he wants papa to put him to sleep..
kesian hubby dearie sempat makan n solat je
itupun terkejar2...

me plak, time dia balik sejam ni lah nak mandi n makan...
sama jugak...
kelam kabut...
xde dah boleh mandi lama2 mcm dulu
jgn haraplah nak berlulur2 ke, palai lotion2 ke...last2 lulur NR yg ada tu buat membazir je

dahla hubby dearie terpksa pegi ke bandar nk beli lauk
kesian sgt kt dia
i know hes exhasuted jugak
mlm2 klo rafiq jaga, dia jaga jugak.
teman me bf rafiq...
smpai rafiq dah tido balik baru dia tido

esok pagi2 dah masuk office...
balik lunch, wife xmasak...kena pegi beli sendiri...
kadang2 nak hidang makanan dia pn xsempat.
time 2 tu lah rafiq nk susu la, poo la...

i know he understands
malah dia lg tabah dr i
sometimes, at nights i lagi cranky dr dia if rafiq xnak tido n my body dah penat sgt
dia ok je dodoi2kan rafiq
but then....its my duty as a wife.
he insisted i stayed at home n be a good wife n mommy
but i feel very insecure of my performance

kadang2 bila rafiq tido tu terfikir, dalam masa sejam dua ni sempat x i masak, lipat kain, basuh pinggan, kemas rumah, n gosok baju dia..

sometimes boleh lah siap satu benda.

but most of the times mmg xdapat...

sbb masa dia tido, me dah sangat penat.
so rehat jugak
bila dah energized n nak bgn buat semua tu, dia dh bangun...

rumah pun tunggang langgang skrg
kain pun hubby dearie yg jemur bila balik kerja...
adoi......
teruk nya saya

DOWN
sangat2

sometimes tu paksa jgk diri buat mcm2 benda bg settle
dgn rafiq yg nk duduk atas pngku je bila dia xtido....alahai...
dahla dah 4 kg skrg
bila mlm, luka ceaser tu rasa mcm kena siat2
sakitnyeeeee

i knw i cant do everthing
but i want to be a supermom
i want my husband to still look forward to come back home to a healthy delicious home cooked meal, a spotless home and hot wife
right now, me dah xde dah melawa2 kt rumah, nk mandi pn kena tgu dia balik...

DOWN AGAIN...

tak nak hantar rafiq pg nursery...
lebih baik i xpayah duduk rumah klo mcm tu

tak nak jugak amik maid...
sbb xsuka ada org lain duduk rumah kita...
klo dah mmg lama kenal lainla
nk cari maid yg dtg time siang2 mmg xde la kt sini

what should i do?
will i adapt to motherhood very soon and able to be a supermom?
or should i go back to work pretending im a supermom and come back the same time as he does to cover my incompetencies.

eh tahlah...
camane eh?

butterfly ni boleh makan ke mama....droool

kenapa benda ni ada bunyi2 eh

im so happy when u show interest to all ur toys..
i though ive invested in waste
before this, tunjuk dia teddy bear pn dia nangis
maybe he hates bears
esp the huge gorilla uncle sujit bought for him
of course la kan...
me pon xsuka itu gorilla...
hehehhe

yesterday...
he didnt want to sleep the whole time hubby dearie went to work
pelik kot...
dah 2 mgu papa ada kat rumah
since dia xnak tido, plus xde meragam2...
so me pon saja2 jelah bukak lamaze tummy time play mat tu
dh berhabuk in the box...
xingat siapa bagi but one of hubby dearie's frens masa baby shower hari tuh

letak dia atas rotater tuh...
dia senyap je
i think he likes to lie on his tummy
tido pun macam tu kan
so dia pun main2 lah benda bunyi2 tu
but nak pusing sendiri kaki xsampai lg hahahaha
so dia pusing dgn tgn
but still xde lah 360 degrees
sikit je
mama kena tolong jugak

haih
sgtlah happy tgk dia senyum 2, gelak2 (eventhough suara gelak blum kuar) n meleleh2 air liur main benda2 tu
hahahaha
mmg betullah...once u have a baby u dont want to miss every single moment of his life
esp time awal2 ni...
seronok sgt
walaupun tgn mama ni dah lenguh sgt2 pegang rafiq, n mata lebam2 sbb tak tido...
tapi happy sgt...

paling best sbb rafiq nak duduk pangku kat mama pastu nak mama cium leher smpai tido
bau tu mmgla masam...hahaha
tapi mama syok je...rafiq,lagila syok,khayal pastu tertido
tapi tangan ni...mcm org angkat berat k...
dah muscle dah sebelah

anyway....rafiq dah tido...
so mama pun nak tutup mata kejap...
huarrrggghhh tak tido dari pukul 6 pagi...
bubye

6 weeks assessment

kuat mcm papa laaa

ckp2 dgn lamaze toy ke

hihihihi dr ni kena pancut dgn rafiq

hihihih...kena ukur daaaa

apa???????mama kutuk rafiq berat??

today we went for our 6th week assessment for both me n rafiq..
pagi2 lg dh bgn nk pg hospital
almaklumlah...appointment pukul 9
luckily, columbia asia is only 10 mins away

rafiq checkup dulu
nurse timbang dia, and ukur panjang dia
as usual semua nurse kt situ akan kerumun dia and compliment him on his hair...
and mcm biasa jugak semua akan ckp muka photostate hubby dearie
sbb hubby dearie yg dukung dia so lg la dia kembang2 gitu
he said " see, im using rafiq to get chicks to talk to me "

cheh....mengada

rafiq's weight is already 4kgs
no wonder penatnye nk dukung
his height 55 cm


after that buat overall assessment dgn paed plak
dr subra
oklah this dr...
hes good with babies...
although he forgot that boys mmg selalu pancut bila bkk pampers..
do kenala pancut dgn rafiq hihiihi
gelak besar dr subra
xtaula dia marah or not
be he seemed cool hahahhaa

dr subra said rafiqs development is excellent
xde sakit2 n xde kuning...
bagus2..
dr subra said continue bf exclusively klo boleh
since he's a ceaser baby.. better dia bf..
alhamdulillah setakat ni still mampu lg
plus i love our special bonding time
n he sleeps easier that way..

dah habis with dr subra,
turun bawah jumpa dr aida plak
ramainye patient
teringat time2 pregnant dulu...hihii
rindu pulak.

rafiq tido dah time ni
kenyang plus ngantuk..tidola...
bising2 tu pn lena je dia

then masuk jumpa dr aida
first thing she said..
"waaaa dah slim n chomel da mummy...."
eh eh eh...kembang idong gile ah time ni
serious

timbang berat... 6kg dah turun....yeay...
pastu dr aida suruh baring n buat ultrasound..
she said good, rahim dh kecut...
risau jgk bab ni.yelah..kita xleh bertungku kan,..

nak buat pap smear tak boleh
me still blom clean lg
ingatkan mmg xnormal..
yelah all my frens b4 1 month dh hbs da
me dah 43 days ni...
dr aida said its normal esp when im fully bf..
oh...ok...
nasib baik..
so..dah betul2 clear nnti kena dtg balik buat pap smear...

overall me n rafiq ok...
alhamdulillah
selalu risau
yelah 1st baby kan...
jaga sendiri pulak tu
mana la ada pngalaman sgt kn...
pulak tu kita nk pantang betul2 pn xboleh...
sapa pulak nk jg rafiq kn...

harap2 rafiq akn terus mmbesat dgn kuat dan sihat
dia dh boleh angkat kepala lama sgt now
bestnyeeee
agah2 pun fh pndai gelak n senyum
suara je blum kuar
klo main 2 with his toys dia senyum2 n agah2 toys tu
cuma dgn mama n papa dia xrespon
sabar jelah...

till then
love
xoxo

happy fathers day sayang...!!!!

although u didnt bring me to Rome...i forgive u..coz i love u hehehehe....

im sorry ive been in a very lousy mood today...
penat..
plus im really pissed about the stupid virus..
I STILL AM

but I LOVE YOU so much
i know uve been a wonderful husband and a great father
a really great one

both of us are blessed to have u in our lives
thank you so much for everything..
we cant possibly ask for more...

will be looking forward to the future with you and rafiq..and possibly a few more...hehehhe

i love you and does Rafiq..

HAPPY FATHERS DAY
MR ASHRUL RIZAL SULAIMAN....

XOXO

me and rafiq zulkarnain..

YOU SUCK...!!!!!!!!!!

please ignore my harsh words
im in a very very very very terrible mood right now...

let me just say

VIRUS H1N1

YOU SUCK

go to hell

buzz off

insensitive people are everywhere
so what if my baby doesnt look like a one month old baby
well yes..
he does look mature
SO FREAKIN WHAT???????????!!!!
ada ke patut tanya me if he was actually born overdue...
sbb tu muka dia xmacam baby
i mean...babies kan sepatutnya muka semua sama je time kecik
plus sbb his hair penuh satu kepala
isnt that supposed to be a good thing
selamba je pastu kata.....

"tgk anak saya, dah 6 bulan muka baik saja mcm baru lahir, baby u saya ckp2 dia muka kerut2 kenapa ya, maybe ur baby matang like BENJAMIN BUTTON"

DAMN YOU!

penat aku mengandung 9 bulan
habis beribu2 buat check up every month, siap dgn detail scan nak tgk every disease or disformity
selamba je u stranger ckp anak aku benjamin button


heres what i have to say
my son is a handsome young man !
he cute n adorable in our eyes...
U on the other hand
JELOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(these statement bukan nak angkat bakul k)
just menyampah dgn kenyataan2 tah pape

i dont care if hes william hung sekalipon
hes my son
he deserves the best from US!
u cant do nothing...

PLUS........
DR's REPORT SAID HIS APGAR SCORE WAS VERY HIGH!
THIS MEANS HES A PERFECTLY NORMAL BABY.

again

DAMN YOU!

people magnet...

smiley rafiq

dah kenyang baru leh pose

papa ni pilih buku lama sangat laaaaa

peace....

smileeeeee

today we went out again...
since 5 am rafiq xnak tido...
so mmg xsempat2 nak masak
baru potong bawang dia dah meraung...
adeh..

kenala melayan anak raja sorang tu

hubby dearie plak pagi2 dah kuar
pg basuh kete, gym pastu masukkan duit dlm akaun rafiq...ngeeeee

so akibatnye....makanlah kt luar
nasib baik si tonet mmg xbanyak ragam bila kuar
dgn syarat...pegang
letak dlm stroller mmg nangis

bawak guna carrier pn nangis..
eh mengada...
nak dukung je
balik kl kena beli sling...
i think lagi comfy dari carrier tuh
duit lagi!!!!
saja je kan

anyways...
bestnye dah lama xmakan luar..
time pregnant semua kedai mkn kt miri ni kena banned..
sbb nak muntah semua xsedap
dah lepas bersalin rupanya semua ok je...
me je yg terlebih mengada

lepas makan dgn family kak b..
pg la jenjalan kt bintang
buhsannyeeeeeee
kenapa sayang kena kerja kt miri?
adoiiii...janji eh...kita duduk sini 4 years je ok...
promise me...
buhsaaaaannnn

nak beli baju pn xde mood..
semua xbest..
dahlah almost half of my closet dah xleh pakai...
kerana ketat at certain places...
mind u bukan kt perut ye.
DOWN

anyway...sepanjang kt bintang..
masuk je semua kedai..
semua org kerumun rafiq
chomelkah?
nah...babies are just human magnets..
they attract so much attention...
esp time nangis hahahahhaa

siap promoter kt Parkson suruh baby rafiq masuk cutest baby contest
the prize?
RM 9000
wow..
termasuk mcm2 barang

klo xmemang pon dapat saguhati rm 500 shopping voucher kt Parkson plus rm 1000 slimming voucher for mummy n daddy kt marie france...
MUMMY & DADDY tau...
best best best...

sayangnye the competition tu time kitorang balik KL
xkisah
balik KL lagi best
yeay
cant wait

pastu dh sampai rumah nak kuar kete...
ckp dgn rafiq...
ok sayang...we're home...
SUDDENLY....
he smiled...n laughed...
oh my god....
kelam kabut nak amik camera...
pastu dia kerut muka balik hahahaha
anak saya mmg suka kerut muka...
xpe..yg penting mama dapat tgk the first smile n laugh...
BAHAGIA...
i love u sayang...
muah