xde kena mengena dgn org yg membaca ni

tapi saya sangat sedih skrg ..........


Location : at PBC...lepak2 lunch with hubby dearie's frens and their wives ..
btw...Rin is a pseudo-name..

rin : balik raya x?
me : tak rasanya, ashrul ada exam..
rin : exam apa? round 1 ke?
me : ha ah...
rin : ooo..berapa dah gaji ashrul sekarang eh? sama ke dgn kamal?
me : ha?
rin : hari tu xnampak pon bag ni, baru ke? beli kat mana?
me : lama la...nampak ni dah tercabut zip dia
rin : apsal ashrul boleh masuk RTOC eh? xaci tau...kamal xdapat, kena jugak pg offshore. macam bodoh S***L tu. tak tau ke org pregnant. bodoh gile pilih ashrul. u dah bersalin kan. tukarla pulak.
me : aaaaa...sayang, kamal mintak RTOC ke? ( sbb xtau nk jawab apa )
hubby dearie : ha? ( xdgr sbb tgh bz borak dgn kwn 2 dia )
me : "ulang balik"
hubby dearie : ha ah..blom lagi kot, dia baru kerja sini.
me : senyum je dkt rin...coz she heard kan
rin : nasib baik u xajak kim (pseudo-name), i xsuka betul lepak dgn org yg asyik cerita pasal org je. u tau x, dia ckp dia kira rafiq mcm cukup2 je 9 bulan. bukan pregnancy 40 weeks kan? dia tu kdg2 mmg camtu. mengata je...i xgemar betol
me : ooo ye ke? dia bz tadi, tunang dia main hoki today
rin : berapa bulan da rafiq eh?
me : 2 months plus
rin : cepat kan u ...habis pantang dah, i baru nak masuk 32 weeks padahal kita kawin sama hari je kan?
me : hehehe....xpe...u dah puas enjoy2...i terus membuyong kejap je boleh jalan sana sini.pastu xlarat dah
rin : kira u apa nama tu...bunting pelamin ke?
me : agaknye...entahlah ( sibok nak layan rafiq nak BF )
rin : yelah...kadang2 kan...org sekarang ni advance.i pon dgn kamal(pseudo-name too) mmg ringan2 dah b4 kawin
me : apa???????
rin : eh...u punye anak minum susu badan ke? ( masa tu tgh BF rafiq ) xtaula nak change topic or mmg dia dumb


location : PBC again ( toilet )
me .... kecik hati gile nak nangis.
rina (also a pseudo-name) : aik, lama nya dlm toilet...makanan dah sampai da
me : okay..(pura2 happy)
rina : i noticed tadi pasal rin tu
me : hmmmm
rina : ala...u kan tau, dia mmg gitu. depan kita pun dia kutuk2 husband dia. kan xelok tu aibkan suami.
me : hehehe...xpelah...skrg ni tuhan balas cash kat dunia..xde credit card dah

imaginelah...me dgn rin ni kira baik la jugak kat miri ni, xdelah rapat sgt. shes always been the mami jarum type. so since kitorang tau dia org n9 (bukan racist eh, me pon org n9 jugak) we all just anggap dia mmg gitu. bila rafiq dah depan mata...jadi sedih yg amat2..how could she?
dia xsedar ke dia pun ada zuriat dlm her tummy?
does she want me to think badly of her too...?
klo we all balik kl, selalu ingat kat dia,balik bwk mcm2 for her. yelah sbb tau dia mmg jarang sgt balik. klo i go out for dinner ke selalu tanya dia nak apa2 ke...yelah, org pregnant, kita taulah nak makan mcm2 kan.
klo everyone nak kuar, g makan ke, jalan2 ke...i always tell them, ajak her. esp when her husband's not around. ni mmg suami saya menyampah, kdg2 kita nak kuar kejap je...
but i know how lonely it is. dahla ddk kt miri ni xde siapa kan. kawan2 jelah.
sometimes, time ashrul xduty, dia nak lepak2 with me...dtg rumah n stuff, so...he has to tolerate lah. adake lebihkan kawan dr suami? sorry sayang. ampun
n then behind my back, my gesture tu she perceives as berlagak. nak menunjuk !
Ya Allah!!
apa ni? if i wasnt sincere, buat apalah i think about you when i have the pleasure to be with my family?
will she do that for me if i was in her shoes?


Notice anything familiar?
Typical Malaysians:
1. Even though u don't even know the name of the person you are talking with , it's OK to ask her personal question like how much he makes for a living, how much ur husband gives to u monthly,if ur doing what ur doing now and if maybe u r her kind...get what i mean?
2. eventhough we dont share the same last name, they make aweful assumptions just because they THINK they can relate to you.

And I am sure all of u must have experienced one of these:

"alah...dia free hair mesti sosial"
"dia xkerja pastu beli mcm2 mesti laki dia sebenarnya menyampah"
"awak xpelah..laki berduit " (padahal duit gaji saya kerja kat SEGI dulu pon masih banyak lg dlm savings"
"dia tunjuk gambar pg sana sini, nak berlagakla tu"


"Bila lagi nak kawen nih?" (If u are single)
" Dah ada ke belum? *sambil jeling2 kat perut* " (2 weeks after u got married)
"kenal x sekian2..dia pun duduk kt area tu jugak" (after u mentioned ur from somewhere which has the sq ft bigger than ur house.

i have...all of them!


Malaysians like to ask and maybe without getting answers, assuming
But always irrelevant and sometimes so insensitive
When that fren asked me about how much my is my salary as a housewife was, my first reaction was to ask her back " would u like to know how many times I have sex in a week as well?". But of cos I didn't. Because it is rude. Because I don't really know her
Because like other Malaysians, I must maintain my public decency.

But the question she asked was equally rude. But she did not notice it. I don't blame her. It's in our culture; We grow up thinking that we have the every rights to ask people about their personal affairs and then make harsh comments about them behind their backs.
And I believe they think that it is a noble job to give other people a constant pressure so that they're repeatedly reminded of u and how nice u are to be so "concerned"

Can't we just talk about the weather, economy or maybe er..furniture?

to that fren , heres my answer to ur last q just before the last obvious BF distraction "statement"

yes...i got married after you
so what if im more productive that u?
i did plan to have kids immediately
i have been reciting all these doa's and reading surah yusoff n maryam everyday for one month before the "big day"
it was usaha plus tawakkal ok!
i know, im no saint.
i dont wear tudung labuh or baju alim, but i do try to fill this head with knowledge
and i did berusaha untuk taubat nasuha n promised myself i will be a good servant to Allah, a great wife,daughter,mother and friend.



so since i know shes still a virgin to blogging...this is my way to console myself , so that i can still think positively about her, still smile at the sight of her and call her a friend

friend,
u can count my pregnancy weeks here
additional info : my LMP was on the 6th of aug 2008
if ure still unsure u can check with our gynea(we share the same one)...she has my records

btw my gud fren amal (not a pseudo-name...i heart her...muah)
got married a week before me, still had her period the next month and gave birth to beautiful zara 3 days before me , at 36 weeks ++ of course..so there u go.rezeki Allah nak bagi...jgn persoalkan lah.

i could let the salary thing slip
but this is ridiculous...
how could one person who's about to have her own zuriat question something like this?
i thought these people are more sensitive to others
haih
i blame the pregnancy hormones
coz like i said im trying very hard to be a good role model to my baby
i forgive you...
friend

this is just typical me
i always love to please
i love making people happy
although i know in the end, ill suffer
and ill cry alone...coz i dont want him to know

coz he always said
"why do u have to feel sad when u urself love to care so much?"

lets just hope Allah grant my prayers and not the sometimes ugly thoughts I had in mind
Afterall,doa anak yatim selalunya termakbul.
Amin!!!!!!


again...
if u ever came across this blog...
demi ALLAH sarah tak mangumpat akak
im just really really HURT
im sorry!